2 days post-op hip surgery

Monday was the day, the day that hopefully is the start of my getting back to running. It's been a loooong 10 months or so. I went through 2 rounds of p.t., one being a complete running analysis, I had my hip injected, I saw a sports med doctor, and I just stopped running. FINALLY, I had an arthrogram done, which did find that I had a torn labrum, (think meniscus in knee, but in hip, best way for some people to understand) and I also had a bone spur. We got to the hospital at about 10:40 am to register and for them to get me all set up. Didn't wait long in the waiting area til I was called back. I was only allowed clear liquids up until 8:30am so I made sure to get my coffee and had a little bit of water and apple juice. Nurses came around and asked my name about a million times, got me hooked up with an IV and took my blood pressure, which was actually through the roof! I suppose on the inside I was more nervous than I thought. I think the first reading was somewhere around 149/104, and then came down a little to like 138/94. Time kept going and going and going until a nurse finally said she'd ask to see what's taking so long. At 12:00 noon she came back to let us know that the doctor was still in surgery with his 10am patient and had another to go yet before me, (mine was supposed to be at 12:30pm) and that my surgery time was now looking to be more like 2pm. We waited and waited some more and finally they came to take me to the OR holding area around 1:45pm. After we got over there we heard them talking about a femur fracture on a little boy in the ER. No sooner did we hear that and they wheeled in a gurny with an Amish family and a little boy about 15 mo old. They came to tell us that he was going to go before me. I was frustrated, but how can you be mad that a little kid needs to wait to be out of pain! SO, more waiting is what we did. Around 3:30 they finally came to get me! By this time I was starrrving, thirsty, and my back hurt so bad from laying down for so long. I gave John a kiss goodbye and honestly that's the last thing I remember! 

About 2 1/2 hours later I woke up in recovery. I hurt, I felt sick to my stomach, I was shaking all over uncontrollably, and was extremely thirsty. I was writhing around in bed and could not get comfortable. I had so many wires and tubes hooked up to me, I was half scared to move! ugggh, the pain and nausea was terrible. The nurse asked how I was doing and I asked for something to drink. She said if I'm nauseated they wanted to wait, but gave me one of those lovely sponge things to suck on to help with my dry mouth. I could NOT get comfortable. I tried laying on my side and that didn't work. Finally the 2 nurses that were there got me out of the bed and into a wheel chair. I thought maybe sitting up more would help my back. I could NOT stop shaking. The nausea continued to get worse until I finally asked for something to get sick in. EEEWWWW, really? I've never had this reaction to anesthesia! They asked about giving me a shot of phenergan, but I know how much those suckers hurt and they put me out and I had to get up a flight of steps when I got home! At that point I think the anesthesiologist came around and suggested giving me benadryl through my IV, so they did. Still didn't help. Next was haldol, still didn't help. He told me next time to make sure I let them know I get car sick/motion sickness and they can give me something to prevent this. NEXT we tried a transderm scopalamine patch, same thing people wear for motion sickness on a cruise (I WISH that's where I was!). FINALLY, I was able to feel a little better. There were a few hours in there where I just kept nodding back off to sleep. It was being discussed about me staying the night after all. I really didn't want to do that. At this point, I'm pretty sure I had John a little worried. They asked about giving me a pain pill, but with already being nauseated I declined that too. John needed to run out quick and get my RX from Walmart before they closed, so the nurses told him to do that while I tried to come around. Something kicked in at some point, because by the time he got back I felt MUCH better! The nurses mentioned getting my IV out and I told them, I noticed it was going to be IV'S, as I had noticed that at some point when I was out they put another IV in on my hand. REALLY?! They think that maybe the other one wasn't working well, so they had to start another. I got my IV's out, got dressed. They had to give me another pair of teds because at this point I had NOTHING on my feet, including the socks I came in with. They realized they must have been thrown away so I also got gift cards from their, "I'm sorry please take this so you don't get mad at us" box. At this point, it was about 9:30pm. 

I was wheeled out to the car, the nurse saw my crazy crutches and adored them. The almighty duct tape...so versatile! 

John made me a sandwich when we got home, at that point I had taken a percocet just before leaving the hospital. My foot was completely numb with that pins and needles feeling. TMI, but the numbness went all down my leg into foot, and then also radiated to the right, right into my um...lady parts lol. I have a HUGE bandage on and the doc said I might be leaking fluid over the next couple days and might even need to put more on to reinforce things if too much liquid seeps out! eeewwww

My time has been spent in bed or on the sofa, sitting up feels good, but I can only do that for so long. I am allowed to put about 25% weight on that leg walking with my crutches. In listening to John's recording of Dr. Zartman, I found out that my labral tear was pretty small, BUT, a decent size of my labrum was completely pulled away from the bone. 

I got a cool keepsake showing exactly what they did. All the medical people I know will think this is cool like I do! SO, it's hard to see in the picture, but apparently below the pointy thing in the second picture is where I had a small tear, maybe not even completely torn, but very fragmented. The shinier, whiter part beside the instrument in the first picture is where my labrum was pulled away from the bone. They open that area and use that pointy instrument in second picture to, "pick, pick, pick" as Dr. Zartmen said on the actual bone underneath until it's filled with blood and purposefully injured and fractured. It's called microfracture chondroplasty. The body will hopefully recognize that and grow more cartilage over that area. The flap was put back into place and sutured. The doctor had mentioned the possibility that I might also have some issues with my bursa, but after seeing everything he did, he said that I definitely had enough going on to cause the pain I was having, and it's fairly unlikely that I will need to have anything else done. (wooohoooo!) I have either 2 or 3 incisions on the outside and will have my lovely bandage taken off tomorrow at p.t., which means NO showers for me until then! 

Overall I'm not feeling too bad. Last night I had a decent amount of pain, and of course waking up in the morning feels much better. This is my view from the bed...

  Yep, staring at our medals and a picture of a lotus. One of my favorite flowers, especially for the meaning!          

So I'm staring at my goal for this year. If I don't do any races until July that's fine, but I WILL do the PA sprint again this year. I had a LOT of things on my bucket list to do last year and this interfered with them, and now after surgery they will still need to wait. I know I'll have to be patient and take things slow. I will be starting all over again, probably even back to doing the couch to 5K program. My hope is that I can do it pain free. I start p.t. tomorrow and know it's probably going to be torture! So here's to crushing goals and taking things one step at a time....literally! 

  

                                                                   

Don't let your troubles weigh you down!

 

Short and sweet tonight, THIS is what I need to put on repeat in my head over and over at the moment! John and I did AWESOME with our "diet" last week when all the food was prepped. WELL life got busy and let's just say it's been anything BUT healthy in the past few days. I also had my appointment with the Rheumatologist who thinks I most definitely have an autoimmune inflammatory disease, not yet showing up on testing, but very much positive clinically. I'm being started on Plaquenil, which is actually an old anti-malaria drug..this is in addition to the million other pills/supplements/vitamins I take on a daily basis. It's taken twice a day, which if you add up all my other pills I THINK takes me to a total of 15 pills per day. I'm really good at taking a lot at once now LOL..I can swallow a big old handful, including a multivitamin and fish oil. (not sure if that's something to be really proud of :-0 ) Anyways, I've been really down the last few days about all this, being 33 years old and on more pills than most of my 80 something year old patients! I need to get over it and move on with things. I'm bringing myself down which in turn is making me hit my old ways and turn to food...JUNK food to be exact. We all have problems, I'm sure many of you reading this have just as much crap in your life, if not more. Everyone's problems are REAL to them and I need to keep that in mind and knock off the pity party. It's time to move on...drop the weight for REAL and of my troubles...it's just not worth it!

 

Don't let worry weigh you down. It's amazing what stress can do to someone's body. It effects us not just emotionally but physically as well, in very real ways. We need to learn to focus on the here and now. What's in the past is the past...and the future hasn't happened yet...so why worry about it!

Focus on the now!  :-) 



Change is the only constant!

I always like to try and get a blog post up when I'm at my parents house to keep up with things. As I've said many times before I like to look back at these and see what I was doing/thinking/feeling. It still amazes me reading some of my earlier posts to see how far I've come. I feel like 2013 is going to be a great year! So far, so good! I was able to get off about 13 pounds that I gained after surgery and during the holidays AND THEN SOME! yaaay! As I was getting ready to go to my parents house for Easter dinner today, I realized that I'm very happy that yard sale season is upon us. A lot of my jeans are now too BIG for me.

Tomorrow starts another exciting plan. Even more exciting, is that John actually said he's on board and wants to do it with me. He's willing to give me "control" of his diet and exercise plan for at least a few weeks. I took a few hours this weekend to come up with my plan of action. Making a meal plan gets even more complicated with John due to his Type I diabetes (the kind you're born with and are put on insulin immediately when diagnosed). He was diagnosed at age 10. I have us eating the same thing for breakfast/lunch and snacks each day and then our dinners. I meal prepped for about 9 hours...9...HOURS yesterday!! I'm really hoping that I find a few things along the way to help me make that go a little smoother. I had to figure out all the carbs for each meal so John knows exactly how much insulin to take. If I was making something that was thrown together (like tuna salad made with Greek yogurt which is our lunches over a salad) I had to enter each item and make a recipe on Myfitnesspal in order to get a correct carb count. I feel exhausted, yet accomplished and happy knowing that everything is pretty much a go for the whole week. With John's new job it makes things a lot easier too. If he's working late, supper's already done and he can eat separate when he gets home.

Our fitness plan involves a lot of HIIT (high intensity interval training) about 10 minutes of HIIT, then a 10 minute warm down, followed by weight training. HIIT and weights are done 4 times a week, a shorter run once a week and long runs once a week, with one day rest. We'll see how it goes! Trying to do a plan that is feasible to do without a complete set of weights. Still in search of a weight bench with free weights. For now training will be done with the complete gym, dumbbells, a bun/thigh isolator and sandbags. Where there's a will there's a way.

Spartan is only 4 months away! It will be here before we know it. VERY excited to be doing the race with John. I can't wait to see how this plan transforms us. We did all of our "before" measurements/weights and will be taking pictures. I always say that doing this keeps you going, keeps you accountable and motivated.

I'm hoping to continue in the right direction and completely transform my body, more so than it already has! (and John too) haha.

Recipes and new happenings.

I hate not having a pc handy to me anymore. I really miss writing these blog posts. I share them, but look at  them like a journal to see my progress, my highs, and my lows. The end of 2012 was really rough. After my shoulder surgery I lost a little motivation. I got "cocky" and started eating what I wanted thinking that I wasn't going to gain any weight back. The holidays came and went and after many cookies I found myself back up to 182 lbs again. I had gained back about 13 lbs from my lowest weight. I hate to focus on weight so much when there is SO much more to think about than weight, but I'm a woman...it's what we do. That "little" number on the scale seems to define us somedays. I try not to stress over it too much, but at the same time, you have to keep some account or you'll end up in the situation like I did and gain a lot back. When it comes back on slowly you don't think about it too much until you realize you're struggling to get a pair of pants on that fit very nicely only a few weeks ago! I knew it was time to do something about it. My shoulder is still giving me some trouble, but time for the "no excuses" approach. I downloaded myfitnesspal on my phone and decided to give it a try. I've really focused on eating "clean" or mostly clean in the past, lots of whole foods and the carbs I eat are all complex. I never really focused on calories. It put me on a 1200 calorie diet. TWELVE HUNDRED CALORIES!! What the heck am I going to live on lettuce? I flipped out a little when it gave me this number, but decided that maybe that's what I needed to do. I've plateaued with my weight for about a year, staying right around losing about 60 pounds. I know that I have much more muscle mass than in the past, due to the fact that I'm wearing clothing in a size I wore previously at about 15 lbs lighter than what I am now! (I find THAT extremely cool....again...don't focus so much on the number on the scale!) The diet really has NOT BEEN BAD! I have 300 calories for each meal and then 300 calories for snacks. If I exercise, it takes into acccount the calories I burn and it all gets added back into my allowance for the day. Some days I find myself training to eat, but that's ok if it gets my butt in gear! I'm now down about 10 lbs since starting a few weeks ago and almost back to my lowest recent weight. I'm PRAYING that I can keep losing and don't plateau again! You HAVE to keep track of inches when you are losing weight as well, and I am also doing that again. I've had to get a LITTLE creative with my meals and have really learned a lot about calories/fat/protein/carbs. I've done lots and lots of research in the past with nutrition, and also work in a doctor's office where I'm constantly talking nutrition to patients. I LOVE it! It fascinates me. There is SO much to learn about how your body uses food for fuel and what each little component does for you....or doesn't do for you! I also have a huge passion and love for cooking and took some time this weekend to prep some chili's to have on hand. I'm usually a "dumper" when I cook, a little of this, a little of that, not measuring anything as I go. I have found now that I need to keep track of every....little....thing....I eat, I HAD to measure everything out as I went and wrote it down. I can then load it into myfitnesspal in "create a recipe" and it calculates everything out for you! How freaking cool is that?!! I have 3 original recipes that I came up with that I'll share on here for you to try. They are all around 300 calories each and VERY filling at 1 cup serving sizes. The biggest thing to keep in mind is that food is fuel. You really don't need it for any other reason. Not to make you feel better, not for something to do when you're bored, not because you're having a get together with friends. It is to sustain us...nothing less, nothing more. The healthier the food, the better the fuel.



Some people "diet" thinking that the less they eat, the better and end up starving themselves. WRONG thing to do. Without enough calories your body goes into starvation mode and ends up holding onto fat which is counterproductive for weight loss. You NEED food, it's all about choosing the right ones! I hope these recipes are helpful and that some of you might try them. They are filled with beans for fiber which is very filling and 2 of them have chicken in them, a lean protein to also help you stay full longer. 

 

Here they are.

Spicy Black Bean and Sweet Potato Chili

1 medium sized sweet potato cut into inch size chunks

1 TBSP EVOO

¼ tsp sea salt

½ tsp paprika

¼ tsp chili powder

Coat potatoes and bake at 450 degrees for about 12 minutes, or until soft, then set to side.

1 TBSP EVOO

1 cup green onion chopped

4 cloves garlic, crushed by hand then chopped

1 Tbsp worcestershire sauce

1- 28 oz can of crushed tomatoes

1-15.25 oz can of black beans

½ cup diced tomatoes

¼ tsp garlic powder

½ tsp oregano

¼ tsp crushed bay leaves

½ tsp paprika

¼ tsp sea salt

½ tsp chili powder

¼ tsp curry powder

¼ tsp black pepper

¼ tsp crushed red pepper flakes

 

Saute onion and garlic in evoo. Add remaining ingredients and let simmer for about 10 minutes. Add sweet potatoes.

 

Makes about 4-5 servings

Serving size 1 Cup- Calories- 287

Total fat 7.9gm

Total carbs- 44.5gm Dietary fiber-12.7gm

Protein 10.8 gm

White Chicken Chili

1 TBSP EVOO

1 cup chopped white onion

6 garlic cloves crushed

1 Swanson flavor boost packet in chicken flavor mixed with 1 cup water

2 cans northern beans (1 can gets pureed with water/flavor packet)

1 can pinto beans

½ tsp parsley

½ tsp oregano

¾ tsp ground cumin

¼ tsp garlic powder

¼ tsp sea salt

1 tsp chopped jalapeño pepper

1 tsp chicken boullian

3 cups water

4 cups shredded chicken

Saute garlic and onion in evoo. Mix flavor packet with water. In a blender blend 1 can of the Northern beans with flavor packet/water. Add to pot. Mix in other ingredients and let simmer for about 10 minutes.     ** for more "kick" add more jalapeno pepper**

Makes about 9 servings

Serving size 1 cup- 368 calories

Total fat- 6.1gm

Total carbs-34.4gm  Dietary fiber-7.7gm

Protein-35.6gm

 

annnnnnd...my favorite, because it has "bacon" in it!!

3 Bean Bacon Chicken chili

1 TBSP EVOO

2 cups onion chopped

2 cups tri colored peppers chopped

7 garlic cloves crushed

2 cans 15.25oz black beans (drained)

1 can 15.25 oz pinto beans (drained)

1 can 15.25 oz dark red kidney beans (drained)

1- 28 oz can crushed tomatoes

2 cups diced tomatoes (about 1 ½ cans)

2 tsp taco seasoning

1 tsp worcestershire sauce

¼ tsp paprika

¾ tsp sea salt

½ tsp black pepper

¼ tsp ground cumin

½ tsp garlic powder

3 cups shredded chicken

10 pieces crispy turkey bacon crumbled

Saute onion, peppers, garlic in EVOO.  Add the rest of ingredients and let simmer for 20 minutes stirring occasionally. **To add more “kick” add in crushed red pepper flakes, more chili powder, jalapeno pepper, hot sauce, etc.

Makes about 11 servings

Serving size 1 cup- Calories- 309

Total fat 6.0gm

Total carbs- 37.0gm  Dietary fiber- 10.3gm

Protein 25.3gm

 

 

 

 



 



Simple Brandz, Inc. and Team Simple



A few weeks ago I officially became an ambassador for a company that I highly believe in and became a part of Team Simple! Simple Brandz, Inc. was founded by Sherry Post. I got to know Sherry through a mutual interest of obstacle course races. I have "Facebook known" Sherry for over a year now. I met Sherry when she was well under way to getting Simple Brandz, Inc. up and going. I have been able to see her highs and lows and watch her dream blossom into reality. My husband and I tried starting a company that didn't go very far. I have seen first hand how hard it is to get products developed and made, market the products, and do a lot of promoting, usually losing money in the process.

Simple Brandz, Inc.kept growing for Sherry until she was able to purchase a building to use for manufacturing product and a patent was approved. Simple Brandz, Inc. now sells itself! I have personally used the Simple Granola during my runs and trainings. Sherry uses only whole foods in her products. Nothing chemically processed, dyes, or artificial ingredients. Here is an overview from Simple Brandz, Inc. Facebook page  http://www.facebook.com/#!/simplebrandz/info

Simple Brandz, Inc. is an all natural food manufacturer and innovator. The health conscious product line features Simple Granola and Simple Fuel. Both lines include a proprietary combination of healthy grains and super foods while remaining gluten, dairy and soy free. The Simple Brandz philosophy stands for basics, going back to the roots. Survival. You only need what nature has given to nourish your body.Simple Brandz mission is to feed people's body and soul and in the process pay it forward for community and country.

ALL NATURAL BODY FOOD:
SIMPLE FUEL
SIMPLE GRANOLA

SIMPLE FUEL is...
All-Natural Nutritional Supplement:
Wheat Free, Gluten Free
All Natural Ingredients with a Proprietary Blend of SuperProteins, Natural Healers, Natural Metabolizers, Fibers, Minerals, SuperGreens, and SuperFruits

SIMPLE GRANOLA is..
Raw, Gluten, Dairy, Soy Free, Smart Portions, Energy & Protein Rich in Omega's, All Natural, Great for Hydration! Moist Granola Rounds are great for popping on the go!

 

 



 

April 2012 I ran the longest run to date, ALMOST 12 miles. It wasn't without some help. Just one Simple Brandz, Inc. granola piece was perfect to keep me fueled on my run. I love that they are small enough to pop into a plastic bag and carry with you on a long run. They easily fit into a fuel belt to use when needed. They can be popped in your mouth as running and are VERY easy on the stomach. I have never had problems with my stomach being upset after using Simple Granola.

Sherry is also a female veteran having served in the United States Army from 1992-2000. She is a strong supporter of anything involved with helping out veterans and active military personnel. One of Sherry's biggest philosophies is "paying it forward". Sherry and I share this idea immensely. Sharing my love for fitness by inspiring others and showing my strengths and weaknesses through my blog and my Facebook page Real Fitness, is another thing that has brought Sherry and I together. My weight loss journey has been shared with many people and Real Fitness was developed to help pay it forward, to help and inspire others to develop a healthy lifestyle. Simple Brandz, Inc. is just one of the things that has helped make that possible for me personally, which is why I was honored to take on a position of ambassador for the company and join Team Simple!

For more information, or to order and try some Simple Brandz, Inc. products, visit their website at
http://www.simplebrandz.com/       to "like" them on their Facebook page and keep up to date on new products and where you can meet Team Simple visit http://www.facebook.com/#!/simplebrandz?fref=ts

3 days post-op update....snails pace...

Surgery was Monday and didn't go too bad. I was most nervous for 1. the nerve block and 2. going under general anesthesia as I haven't been all the way under before. I was also hoping that the nurse listened to me and didn't put the IV in my hand..I HATE that..always hurts. All the nurses and staff were very nice. The nurse actually asked me if I had a preference or any ideas on where to put my IV. I told her if she can get it in somewhere other than my hand that'd be GREAT! After slapping my arm around a little she found a good vein on my forearm that seemed it would work. Success!! She did an awesome job, I didn't even feel it! Next was off to the anesthesia room to get my block. The anesthesiologist gave me something to relax me a little through my IV first. Then he had me turn my head to the right and gave me a general anesthetic to numb the area...just a slight burn..not bad at ALL. Next they hooked these pads up to me to stimulate my nerves to figure out exactly where to place the block. That was a very odd feeling but didn't hurt. My arm started flopping around like a fish outta water! They administered the block and I didn't feel anything at ALL as they were doing it...thank goodness!

They took me back to the pre-op room to wait for my surgery. ONLY complaint that I had is that they told me if there was time in between the block and the surgery they would send John back in. The Dr. came in and marked my shoulder and told me that it would probably be about a 1/2 hour to an hour until surgery. I didn't see John again....

From the beginning of the day I had a headache, I think mostly from not being able to have my morning coffee. It kept getting worse until it finally turned into a full blown migraine about 2 hours before actual surgery. I obviously couldn't take any migraine meds and didn't know how they'd react afterwards with all the other pain meds and anesthesia. I remember the last thing I said after I was in the surgery room was, "I figure I'll ask all of you guys since you're all here, can I take a Maxalt when this is all done to get rid of my migraine?" LOL...I remember the nurse saying, "We're gonna give you something here in a minute that will get rid of that headache for you". I said, "ok" thinking that she meant for good!

Coming out of anesthesia I remember being very restless..and STILL with a migraine. WORST FEELING EVER. First thing I asked OUT of anesthesia was if I could take a Maxalt. The nurse said shouldn't be a problem and just at that moment the Dr. was walking by, quick told me everything went well, no surprises, and YES I could take a Maxalt! wooohooo. I got my grape juice and pretzels, John was called in to go over discharge instructions and I was wheeled down to the car...where I took a Maxalt! Longest car ride home EVER! Came home and crawled in bed...just wanted my migraine to go away! John had to run out to the dollar store and get me one of those "beauty sleep" masks, so I could keep all the light out as best as I could that was coming through the blinds

 

Sleep the first night was rough, I got about 4-5 hours of very broken sleep. I am to be taking my pain pills every 4 hours round the clock. We have our alarms set so I take at 8pm, 12 midnight, 4 am and 8 am....so I'm waking up through out the night to take a pill and eat a snack so I don't get sick.

 

After my migraine was manageable John had to laugh at me, I wanted to sit up and come out to the living room, but without having any lights that dim, they were still just a little too bright for me..therefore I had my sunglasses on as I was talking to my mom on the phone. Told me I look like a redneck diva in my flannel with sunglasses on and on the phone....and the lovely bag of frozen veggies!

 

Last night the block finally started to wear off, the numbness and tingling was horrible, but now the pain is pretty intense. I was in tears last night and broke down and took 2 pain pills instead of just 1. I'm allowed 1-3 pills every 4 hours..and have been trying to stay with the least amount possible. I took my pill at 8pm and at 8:40pm I decided I was taking another and going to bed. I slept all night waking at 12midnight and 4am to take 2 pills each time.

 

Physical therapy started this a.m. They took off my bandages. I have 3 incisions with steri-strips over them. I went into p.t. with the saying, "no pain, no gain" in mind. I know that's usually what they go by. I was fully prepared to be in some pain. I had my pain pill at 8am with a bowl of oatmeal and was feeling ok...weak, but pain wasn't TOO bad. He told me we are NOT looking at my situation as, "no pain, no gain". The bone was cut...therefore I will have a LOT of pain, but at the same time, we need to let that bone heal a little before we can really start messing with it. I got hooked up to a stimulator and a cryo wrap. The cryo wrap puts compression all around your shoulder to try to promote circulation all the while it's forcing ice cold water through the wrap so your whole shoulder is encapsulated in cold...it felt GREAT! He explained to me how to be holding my arm and placement with sleeping and sitting. Really cool thing is that I can have my arm placed just so and still type without moving my shoulder and FINALLY have MOST of the feeling back in my hand...finger tips still tingling but getting better.



 

I was told by the p.t. that this will be a very slow process of first healing, then range of motion, then strengthening. He told me it will take me about 6 months to get back to the strength that I started with! Guess I'm in it for the long haul...moving forward, even if at a snails pace. 

Surgery, smurgery...time to move on like a warrior!

Tomorrow is the big day...shoulder surgery. I've been all kinds of messed up this weekend on an emotional roller coaster. When you're in the medical field you know things sometimes that you just wish you didn't know. Some situations are better to be stupid about than have a lot of knowledge. So they're doing a "Resection of my distal clavicle with acromioplasty" in Lehman's terms means, they are cutting off the last 1/2 inch of my collar bone that connects at my shoulder, which is your AC joint and then going in and cleaning out my joint space. I have really bad arthritis and my bones are clicking and rubbing together. They cut off the bone so it will eventually build scar tissue and make it stop rubbing, preventing more deterioration and arthritis. There, now you all had your health lesson for the day.

I've been REALLY slacking lately...eating horribly and not working out like I should be. I've been trying to rest my shoulder as best I can. I feel really weak at the moment and just want this surgery done and over with. I think ever since I actually scheduled it, I've had it in my mind that I could let myself go and I'll rebuild everything back up after surgery...wrong way to look at things! I AM SO excited though to get to physical therapy and start working on getting back on track. I've really been trying to think about how far I've come on my journey thus far, and keep in mind allll the other things I have on my bucket list (which is A LOT) and realize that the Spartan race wasn't my, "ok I've done what I've come to do, now let's pack it up and call it a life of  fitness." I've really been struggling with that. I think somewhere in the back of my mind I feel like, "ok that was enough, it was a struggle and I don't want to rock the boat more than what I did." I've got to keep reminding myself of THIS

Just because I have a before and after HERE, doesn't mean I can't make ANOTHER before and after!! I took off a lot of the weight now it's time to really crack down and make things better!! I want muscles, I want definition, and I want my strength back!! It's extra hard when you're not seeing results almost instantaneously like you did in the beginning. Back when I started this journey it was nothing to shave off a few inches and go down about 5 pounds in 1 week. Now those inches slowly creeeeeeep off over a few weeks to months, and the weight just kinda stays around the same. I know better than to let that get to me and make me give up! Why in the world would I let myself feel sorry for myself and slowly fade back into my former self! NO, we are NOT going there!!

I've let my mind go and my body has followed. It's time to get back on track, jump off the pity train and crack open that inner warrior voice telling me to STFU and MOVE!! Surgery day is almost here...I WILL be fine and I WILL move forward, cause baby there is NO, NO, NO, going back now!